Why women date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be filled with troubles, cause sorrow, and other problems. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, finances, age dissimilarity, spiritual background, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married man.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned generally though it is just the human state, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to turn the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your relatives or anybody else? You would need to lessen the hazard you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, huge really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they are comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a tones of reasons. As a man I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply developed apart, our ordinary interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.